If the brain runs on AC, the body runs on DC

According to the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, statistics on men’s health are abysmal when held up in comparison with women’s health.  Shorter life expectancy, greater probability of heart attack and higher rates of risk-taking and alcohol consumption are some of the features of men’s health.

 

By now, no one is surprised to hear that men do not seek mental help with the frequency that women do.  Yet even in knowing that they should or that there is no shame in seeking help, men are still reluctant to do so.  Why?

 

It really comes back to socialization and social conditioning takes place at a deeper level than cognition. Awareness may not be enough to convince men that there is no shame in not handling problems alone.  If you have ever experienced anxiety or depression, you might agree that sometimes your brain can know everything it needs to know to be ok, but your body still doesn’t feel better.  It is as though your brain uses alternating current and your body uses direct current.

 

If I threaten to flick water into your face with my fingers, you know it won’t hurt you.  But if I go ahead and do it, you will likely flinch anyway.  Why does the body brace itself for a danger that the brain knows is not there?  The body holds memories too.  These may not just be memories from your own life but memories embedded into your DNA from centuries of conditioned stimulus and response.

 

Women are often frustrated when men go quiet or get agitated when under stress.  I agree this can’t be pleasant for them.  It isn’t pleasant for men either.  Why don’t they just talk or go see a professional?

 

The world needs to understand that while most men know this is a good idea, their DNA may be telling them otherwise.  And since DNA communication is not language based, most men won’t know how to articulate it.  Their DNA tells them that to open up one’s wounds, to show vulnerability is to run counter to the deeply entrenched idea that any sign of weakness makes them susceptible to attack.  Even if men are not fighting lions today, signs of frailty have historically brought ridicule from other males which can mean separation from the pack and thus, more vulnerability.

 

If you played hockey or some other physical sport growing up, you probably recall that there was little tolerance for whining or crying in the locker room.  You had to show strength all the time and bury those feelings deep.  It was a matter of survival.  Even good hockey dads who admonished us for bad behavior encouraged us to play aggressively and to keep going through pain.  They knew from their own experience how hard life would be if we were culled from the herd.

 

Dads aren’t the only ones guilty of keeping this culture alive.  If you are a female who ever shamed a man for being unwilling to fight, think of what it means for a man to move forward into danger despite the fear he carries in his chest.  For men, facing danger and certain injury is easier to live with than admitting vulnerability.

 

The unwritten side of this would fill a library.  But DNA and the body do not speak in language.  This might be why men go quiet when they are hurt.  This might be why you flinch at a few drops of water to the face even when you know there is no risk of harm. 

So, we aren’t on par with women’s health yet.  We can get there, but we have to condition our DNA to understand that in reaching out for support, we are not compromising our membership to the herd or inviting attack by exposing our wounds.  Kudos to all you brothers out there who reassure your friends that they are still men, even when they are falling apart.  It is you who will bring progress to men’s health.